Written by Caleb Engelhardt, Masters Level TIU Counseling Intern
Below are some tips and techniques that can be helpful when understanding and approaching anger:
Understanding anger
Anger rarely rides alone, can sometimes mimic/hide/replace other feelings
Unpleasant emotions aren’t bad: sad, ashamed, helpless, angry, vulnerable, embarrassed, disappointed
Expressions of anger:
chronic (resentful, moral, habitual)
explosive (excitatory (seeks it out), sudden, deliberate (manipulative), shame-based)
hidden (avoidant, distrustful (paranoid of others, projects), passive-aggressive)
Anger activation causes worse decisions and “reactive” responses typically last around 90 seconds.
*Keeping some emotions out of sight can be necessary, but it is always harmful to keep them out of mind.
Someone with an insecure attachment style can be more prone to anger. Those with an avoidant attachment style can be more prone to hostility.
Kids can’t problem-solve until they have recovered from anger so there should be a focus on safety, slowing down, & grounding in-moment. It’s important to remember their age/sex/etc. can affect their coping.
Techniques & approaches
Mindfulness + relaxation are key and true change requires a lifestyle change not just situational management (eg. breaks).
Another approach is to distract yourself from the situation by focusing and doing something slow or comforting, etc.
Caleb has openings to see new clients, both adolescents and adults, and offers a reduced rate for self-pay clients. you are interested in booking appointment with Caleb or interested in learning more about the services we offer, please reach out to Jenny Hansen, our intake coordinator, at 815-707-4806 or by email at jenny@centerforcourage.com for availability!
Check out Caleb’s profile page on our website to learn more about him!
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