Written by Katie Kroening, LCSW;CADC
1. Quality Time: Spend quality time with child, spouse and family: the best outcomes for families are connected families.
2. Calm and Assertive: Remove the audience when child is out of control or reactive; when child is having a fit, wait to have a discussion until the child can be calm and in control; Make sure you’re calm and in control as well before discussion.
3. Clear Expectations: Have consistent, clear, attainable rules/expectations: Do not exasperate your child.
4. United Parenting: Work together, 2 perspectives are better than one, be flexible with one another for the best outcome for your child.
5. Provide Empathy: Empathy is not agreement; it honors your child’s spirit and rights to feel and think; it increases their confidence and creates emotional healing. Emotional intimacy with your child is one of the greatest gifts and helps child feel safe.
6. Don’t Let Fear or Former Traumas Lead:
The best parenting is objective parenting. Responsive, objective, and trusting parents set their child up for low anxiety, low level depression and confidence.
If you parent out of a place of fear, suspiciousness and are intrusive to healthy privacy of your child, if you are over-protective, and reactive due to your fears or former trauma’s, you pass your own fears, anxieties and hang ups. Get help if needed.
7. Strength-Based Parenting: Catch your child doing it right! Praise your child when they get it right rather than escalating when they get it wrong; this positive response by parents will increase the child’s desire to do things right and increase self-confidence. Always love and believe in your child: reject the behavior but always correct in love and in belief in child. Provide an age-appropriate natural consequence; example: “Son, I believe in you and always love you, but that behavior is beneath you and will hurt you or someone else; it needs a consequence. Model Strength-Based Values: show kindness and service to your child, others, respect self, child and others even when you disagree; agree to disagree. Faith-based Values: When adults and children feel hopeless, faith can carry your family your child and provide hope when there is no foreseeable hope.
8. Physical Affection: Parents, your children need physical affection in healthy ways, or they’ll search for it in unhealthy ways. Parents, provide affection to your spouse and family, never withhold love; talk things through with respect.
Counseling: For individual, family, marital or trauma recovery therapy, please feel free to call us at: (815) 707-4806 or email Jenny@centerforcourage.com
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